The Power of Showing Up
There are moments in life when we are called to show up—not for any particular reason other than to be there. It’s the kind of presence that doesn’t need to be explained or justified—it simply is. Last night, I experienced one of those moments, and it reminded me of why showing up for someone in their time of grief is one of the most powerful things we can do for each other.
The Decision to Show Up
After work yesterday, I didn’t hesitate. I got in my car and made the decision to drive to Texas. It wasn’t for any formal obligation, but because my friend, Rhonda, needed me. Her mother had passed away, and the funeral viewing was that evening. I didn’t have to be there in any official capacity—I wasn’t going to officiate the service—but Rhonda was my first best friend. We’ve been through so much together, and I couldn’t imagine not being there by her side, especially in her time of loss.
The drive wasn’t short. It took me hours to get there. I stayed for only a couple of hours, offering my support and simply being present for her and her family in their time of grief. Then, I turned around and drove back home. It was a long, tiring journey, but it was worth every mile. Sometimes, there’s no need to overthink why you need to be there—you just do. Showing up in those moments of need is something that transcends distance and inconvenience.
Why Presence Matters
It’s easy to think that our role in someone’s grief is to offer words of comfort, to “fix” things, or to somehow ease the pain. But in my experience, what’s often most needed is simply showing up. There’s an unspoken power in the act of being present. When someone is grieving, when they’re navigating the overwhelming weight of loss, the simple act of having someone by their side can offer a sense of peace, even if just for a moment.
Grief is a deeply personal experience, and it can feel incredibly isolating. In those moments, it’s not about having the perfect words to say—it’s about acknowledging the pain, sitting with it, and offering your support in whatever form it takes. Whether it’s a shared memory, a quiet presence, or just being there in silence, showing up means offering a safe space for someone to grieve without feeling alone.
The Role of a Funeral Celebrant
This understanding of presence is at the core of what I do as a funeral celebrant. As someone who leads and helps design meaningful services, I’ve come to realize that the role of a celebrant is not just about officiating—it’s about being a guide and a source of support during one of life’s most difficult times. Much like I was there for Rhonda last night, I am there to offer comfort, structure, and a space for families to come together to honor and celebrate the life of someone they’ve lost.
A funeral or memorial service isn’t just about rituals—it’s about connection. It’s a time for friends and family to gather, to share memories, to mourn, and to heal. And the most significant part of any service is the people who come together to support each other, to show up for each other in a time of need. In my role as a celebrant, I have the privilege of creating a ceremony that not only honors the life of the person who has passed but also helps bring people together in a way that promotes healing and reflection.
Creating a Space for Healing
The celebration of life is a beautiful tradition, but it’s not just about the ceremony—it’s about creating an environment where grief can be expressed, memories can be shared, and love can be felt. When we show up for each other during these difficult times, we’re not just offering our presence—we’re creating a space for healing to begin. Whether it’s during the viewing, at a memorial service, or in the days following the loss, those moments of connection become a source of comfort for those left behind.
Just as I was there for Rhonda last night, I encourage others to show up for their loved ones when they need it most. Sometimes, the simplest things—attending a funeral, sharing a meal, offering a hug—can make all the difference. Grief can be overwhelming, but when we are there for one another, when we take the time to show up, it becomes easier to carry that burden together.
The Role of Community in Grief
One of the most profound things I’ve learned in my work as a celebrant is the importance of community. A funeral is not just a gathering to say goodbye—it’s a reminder that we are not alone. The people who surround us during times of grief help carry us through, offering love and support, and reminding us that life continues beyond loss. Whether you’re attending a ceremony, offering a word of comfort, or simply being a presence, showing up is the foundation of healing.
When we come together to mourn, to remember, and to honor a life, we are participating in a communal act of love. The process of grieving is often personal, but it doesn’t have to be solitary. The people who show up to support those in grief are offering a shared experience, one that helps heal and strengthen the bonds we have with one another.
Conclusion: The Power of Showing Up
Reflecting on my drive to Texas and back, I am reminded of the importance of showing up, not just as a celebrant but as a friend, a loved one, and a human being. We all go through difficult times, and we all face loss at some point in our lives. But it’s during those times that we need each other most. Showing up—no matter the distance, no matter the inconvenience—can make all the difference. It’s a reminder that we’re never alone, even in our most difficult moments.
Whether you’re seeking someone to officiate a funeral or simply looking for support during a difficult time, remember that being present is the greatest gift we can give each other. Grief is a journey that is often easier to navigate when we have others by our side. As a funeral celebrant, I am honored to be a part of that process, helping families create meaningful celebrations of life that honor the memories, the love, and the legacy of those who are no longer with us. But beyond the ceremony, the most important thing we can do is show up—for each other, and for ourselves. Because in the end, it’s the presence of those who care that helps us heal.